Day 1

 

After yet another fail attempt at a relationship I have decided to change my focus for the next 60 days…to me.  Yes, I am going to be selfish.  I am going to care about myself for once instead of everyone else.  I am going to put the majority of my time, energy and focus into doing things to improve my life instead of the lives of others.  I am going to stop wondering what men want and instead reach out for the things I want.  I am going to tell my children ‘no’ and not feel obligated to attend events I have no interest in or that will not serve me.  I am going to stick to my plan of improving myself, my life, my existence.  

During this process I expect to step on a few feet, hurt a few feelings and possibly lock my fate of being single forever.  People have come to expect I’m going to focus on all of the things I have been writing about in my journals for the last 20 years.  I’m going to listen to my Anthony Robbins CDs that I purchased over 10 years ago and actually complete the set.  I’m going to enjoy myself and be happy.  

I have been struggling for the past few years in several areas of my life – and at the age of 41 I have finally realized that I put forth a vast amount of effort, time & energy into situations & people that bring me nothing in return besides frustration and heartache.  I realize that the things that are most important to my wellbeing have been neglected for far too long. Perhaps this is a pre-midlife crisis, perhaps it’s a reaction to too many bad situations, perhaps I have finally woken up or perhaps it’s simply wisdom that has come with age.   Whatever the reason I am thrilled to begin this journey and look forward to the end result.  

No plan has been set in place – this is something I decided to do this morning.   There are a few things I have already set up in my mind that I will commit to during these 60 days.

  1. Logging on to the blog every day and recording what I’m doing/going through.
  2. Cancel all profiles on dating websites
  3. Set a schedule for working out

Of course this list will change…possibly every day.  I am a work in progress and won’t stop until I get it right. Image